1) Throwing a house party while your parents are on holiday is actually a really bad idea – someone will puke all over your duvet, your sister will grass you up when she finds a beer can under her bed and you will get SUCH a bollocking.
2) Stop worrying that you’re fat – you look gorgeous.
3) Don’t lie on the application form for that summer job in The Body Shop – you’ll get found out.
4) Learn to drive the moment you turn 17 and practise loads while you’re young and cocky. That way you won’t be such a crap reverse parker in your thirties.
5) Don’t get slaughtered on red wine the night before your German A-level. Nicht gut.
6) Other than that, don’t worry. Your life turns out just great!
What was the first book you remember falling in love with?
If you were not a writer what would you do?