'I finally cracked in Beverly Hills, during a Nicole Richie interview. I'd already seen this sane, witty woman get turned into a boil-in-the-bag-slapper by LA's 'stylist to the stars', Rachel Zoe. Then Richie started flicking through a book on Taliban fighters. 'Put it down, Nicole! It's political!' snapped a minder, warning me in no uncertain terms not to mention the book in my article.'

Assembly Rooms, George Street, August 24 – 30. For tickets call 0131 623 3030 www.assemblyfestival.com