After leaving university, Emma Beddington practised as a lawyer. Today she is a freelance writer, who has contributed to ELLE, Red, The Times, the Sunday Times, the Guardian, Condé Nast Traveller and O Magazine. She is also the author of the acclaimed blog Belgian Waffle. She lives in Brussels with her husband and two sons.
@Sathnam If weather good, lying in Bois de la Cambre/failing to row a boat/giving up and having a waffle at Chalet Robinson
by @BelgianWaffling - 4 hours ago
@Sathnam Also Ghent. Ghent is really fun and studenty. Short train trip.
@Sathnam MIMA and Wiels both good for student friendly culture, Dansaert and Rue de Flandre for hipster spotting/sh… https://t.co/uSDDUlg9kr
@startmyheart Well, no, but also GOD YES
by @BelgianWaffling - 17 hours ago
@mrsajdubs Oh perfect #bliss
by @BelgianWaffling - yesterday
Ravishing Fusion - 2 days ago
Self-promotion and self-sabotage - 3 days ago
Self-PromotionDespite my habitual August certainty that my life is unsustainable and a failure, I've written two ok things this month (nothing in the pipeline, this was a one-off, I'm back to copywriting about chain hotels and whispering vicious demotivational slogans to myself).Today, a piece on television and teenagers. Since writing it (ages ago), we seem to have run out of good consensus telly: I've been dragged unwillingly through the latter half of Dexter (Quinn gets more and more brown and thin to the point where he becomes uncannily like the dessicated corpse of Ramses II in a striped shirt, Batista says "dio mio" a lot, Deb loses the plot to a point where there is NOWHERE left to go, emotional range wise, Charlotte Rampling is terrible) and failed to enthuse anyone about Fargo season 3. I just miss the happy days of Parks and Rec and 30 Rock. I want a good comedy, is that really too much to ask? The best laugh we've had in front of the telly as a family for months was watching David Guetta's set at Tomorrowland.Last week a piece on the wonderful, extraordinary Mohamed El Bachiri whose wife was killed in the Brussels bombings. There was a lot in it, and in our conversation, about the Greeks, and especially the Odyssey, how important it is; how he's on his own quest, lost at sea with his motherless boys. There's more about it in his book, which is very special. I got an email from Prog Rock about it yesterday:"Edwin Muir wrote a poem called The Return of Odysseus, where Penelope thinks "this is duty....to keep a vacant gate, where order and right and hope and peace can enter". M E B's jihad, struggle to open and hold open a gate."He always knows the right things, the things that shift and open your mind and your heart. I'm very lucky to have him in my life, for almost infinite reasons but especially that one.Self-SabotageThis morning I demonstrated to my spouse my new technique to cope with Ouipette's post-illness tendency to do thirty tiny rabbit pellet shits a day by managing to use a single dog shit bag for two such pellets. He was utterly repelled, as well he might be even though it doesn't involve touching any shit, honest.E: It's easy! And economical! Do you know how much all this is costing me? I've already shelled out for over €300 in vet's bills this month and O still needs to go back on Monday for his pre-England check. When I made the appointment this morning they welcomed me like the actual queen of England, that's how much money I've spent there recently.Spouse (moving away from me with look of utter revulsion): Yeah I know we're broke, but that's a step too far for me.Pretty sure that's the end of the physical aspect of our relationship.Teaser
Fives - 5 days ago
1. Glamorous things I have bought online this month*- A whippet collar from "Doggy Boho" (sob)- A tub of live tiny mites that eat red mites- Herbal worming solution and calcium supplements from Flyte So Fancy (such a great name)- An SKF-608-2Z bearing single row deep groove ball (our dryer has died and my spouse fancies himself a have a go hero, I am half-admiring, half awaiting fiery death)- A 3-hour "gorge walking" trip (wetsuit provided) for four people at the appropriately named "Hell Gill" because I am scared we will get bored and feast on each other's spinal fluid in Yorkshire.(*only things I have bought online this month)2. Bad signs at yoga class(not literal signs, though they have those too, reading "life is perfecct" and "breathe" and they are also very bad indeed)- Man at reception suggests you do "un peu de préparation psychologique" before you go- Or recommends you take the class on an empty stomach- People in the room have all started doing fucking sun salutations BEFORE the class actually starts- Topless men- (Redacted) is teaching3. Activities my Fitbit thinks are steps- Scratching the dog- Struggling with a large packet of crisps- Scratching my mosquito bites, JESUS THE BITES- Brushing my teeth- Making cinnamon rolls4. Good things I have eaten this week- Tiny, fresh, still warm Bolo di Coco coconut bun (Forcado)- Waaaaaay too much Gomen Wot (Kokob)- A salted and fresh ricotta and grilled aubergine pizza with perfect burnt-chewy base (Cocina Flagey, also two pretty good cocktails)- Veggie tacos - though a bit more spice wouldn't go amiss (Charli Salé)- Crisp outside, buttery inside, almond and raspberry cake with tart redcurrant compote (Pipaillon)(Yes, my many Gap girlfriend twill stripe chinos *are* somewhat tight currently, how did you guess)5. Culture I have consumed- La Piscine de Roubaix: the most exquisitely converted 1930s swimming pool, with a rather eccentric collection (thigh rubbingly good textiles though)- Baby Driver: think that's the first time I've had to actually cover my ears in a cinema? Not great female roles? Otherwise, sure.- Homecoming podcast: David Schwimmer makes a spectacularly oleaginous and convincing baddie - OR IS HE?- L'Amour est dans le Pré - Belgian farmer wants a wife. Eye-opening. I like the two Dutch stable owning sisters though.- Hillbilly Elegy: I am not really sure what I think about this. I'm sure you're all on tenterhooks for my considered take at a later date, ahem. You?
Discipline - 6 days ago
Aaaaaaaaaarghghghghghghgh.I really want to write, but I am devoid of thoughts, intelligence, sense, motivation, up to my eyeballs in translating song lyrics (which is brain-meltingly difficult and makes me want to smash my face into the keyboard like an angry confused macaque) and it is August, my worst month of the year, so I divide my time between (i) deciding my life is wasted, unsustainable and a failure; (ii) manic tidying and (iii) whispering "fuck everything" into the void. Things usually perk up by around the second week in September, it just has to be endured.I am going to write something every day between now and the start of our holiday (Weds next week) pour me changer les idées. It'll be a numbered list at best, let's not get too excited.1. LivestockGrim times. Ouipette is finally home (€280 later), fashionably emaciated, but surprisingly not showing any particular sign of psychological trauma from his lengthy vet stay. The only lasting symptom seems to be that he now needs to shit quite literally twenty five times a day. It is costing me a fortune in dog shit bags. Unrelated woe: he is NOT enjoying the stormy weather, thus:
I have opinions - 18 days ago
Animals I have unfollowed on Instagram1. Bald guinea pig (cutesy accessories/positive affirmations )2. Capybara (bit boring, too many attempts to sell me socks)3. Tiny pony horse dance training (preachy, with a side order of veganpreachy)4. Giant pig (turns out I’m not that into giant pigs)5. Damaged goats (too much drama)6. That racoon who is friends with a dog (dunno, it just wasn’t doing it for me. Nothing they said to each other really worked for me, you know? WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION TOFFEE) Animal accounts I continue to follow faithfully and with a degree of joy and yes this is in order of goodness1. meagletrainerSo Many Capital Letters And Emojis Guys. Such Mystery. And yet, he has solid weird bird and giant fish action that fills me with love, intense puzzlement and joy. If you aren’t following meagletrainer, you are missing out on the essence of animal Instagram. I miss that pelican he used to have though.2. arc4raptors“Avian reconditioning center”. I mean, come ON. Quality raptor based account, with interesting scientific information as well as top notch hawks.3. ojairaptorcentreMORE OF THE SAME WHAT THERE CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH RAPTOR REHABILITATION4. This Girl Is a SquirrelFor the weird, asmr style squirrel fur stroking videos which soothe the lizard brain.5. kpunkkaNot all animals, but all amazing.6. zsllondonzooFor loyalty, but also for excellence and in hope of appearances from Mr Wu, the giant salamander. Or the tortoises.7. weratedogsI know it’s actually a hedge fund in disguise or something, but I like it, ok.8. evpcambodiaAn infrequent but deeply pleasing poster of retired Cambodian elephants enjoying just being elephants.9. choochoocharlies/neville jacobsI think both these dogs belong to Marc Jacobs? Possibly? The pics are good and the captions non-annoying.10. jc_wingsAll birds, no filler. They're good birds, Brent.11. avianreconSome birds. Birds are awesome says Allison. She is not wrong. Allison, that most recent picture is not a bird though.12. birdsbrusselsSelf-explanatory13. whippetsinwoolHighly specific occasional amusementConclusions for animal accounts wishing to retain my patronage: 1. No positive affirmations of any kind2. No drama3. Do not tell me what to do4. Captions should be either genuinely funny, SCIENTIFIC-slash-informative or meagletrainer. There is no other way.5. No cats.6. Birds are always ok.Obviously I am not including or opining on personal accounts which are heavy on pictures of pets (several of which I follow and enjoy) because that is a whole other ball game.Am I missing out on Instagram animal greatness? I feel like there must be good farm stuff I am missing. More normal goats. Some splendid hens? Fill me in.In other newsOuipette is still sick at the vet's. My life has lost all meaning. Send him your good thoughts. He will greet them with utter disdain.
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