We all have films that we love to hate and that we love to rant about. There are few that rant more concisely and cuttingly than trusted Observer film critic Mark Kermode. Here are five of his best one-liners.

1. “Eat, Pray, Love, Vomit”
On Eat, Pray, Love

2. “Forest Gump with A-Levels”
On The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

3. “Less fun than having a real dog put down”
On Marley & Me

4. “The cinematic equivalent of tertiary syphilis”
On The Santa Clause 3

5. "Consumerist pornography"
On Sex and the City 2