Speaking in Thumbs

Mimi Winsberg

03 February 2022
304 pages


'A fantastic guide for anyone looking for real connection, but struggling to understand what messages really mean.' Thomas Erikson, author of Surrounded by Idiots

Speaking in Thumbs
is an essential look at the love language of text, helping you decipher the personalities of online daters, the subtle signals from your romantic partner, and the red flags hiding in plain sight.

When it comes to modern relationships, our thumbs do the talking. We swipe right into a stranger's life, flirt inside text bubbles, spill our hearts onto the screen, use emojis to convey desire, frustration, rage. Where once we pored over love letters, now we obsess over response times, or wonder why the three-dot ellipsis came . . . and went.

Nobody knows this better than Dr. Mimi Winsberg. A Harvard and Stanford-trained psychiatrist, she co-founded a behavioral health startup while serving as resident psychiatrist at Facebook. Her work frequently finds her at the intersection of Big Data and Big Dating. Like all of us, Winsberg has been handed a smart phone accompanied by the urgent plea: 'What does this mean?' Unlike all of us, she knows the answer. She is a text whisperer.

Speaking in Thumbs is a lively and indispensable guide to interpreting our most important medium of communication. Drawing from of-the-moment research and a treasure trove of real-life online dating chats, including her own, Winsberg helps you see past the surface and into the heart of the matter. What are the telltale signs of deception? How do we recognize pathology before it winds up at our front door? How can we draw out that important-but-sensitive piece of information – Do you want kids? Do you use drugs? Are you seeing someone else? – without sending a potential partner heading for the hills?

Insightful, timely and impossible to put down, Speaking in Thumbs is an irresistible guide to the language of love. With wit and compassion, Winsberg empowers you to find and maintain real connection by reading between the lines.

Expertly cuts right through the confusion of modern dating. A fantastic guide for anyone looking for real connection, but struggling to understand what messages really mean.
Mimi Winsberg’s Speaking in Thumbs is an entertaining, essential, and ultimately practical guide for anyone navigating the most vexing feature of modern romance: text messages. Winsberg has compiled research and real-life examples, including texts from her own life, to help readers spot red flags, discern compatibility, and recognize where they are pushing potential partners away. By analyzing texts from the entire life cycle of a romance– from initial exchanges to the gut-wrenching end-of-relationship goodbyes– Winsberg empowers readers to understand both themselves and the people on the other end of their text messages. Winsberg’s book entertains as it enlightens, and empowers as it analyzes. Don’t even think of swiping right again until you read this book
Mimi Winsberg uses her incredible knowledge and research to help us understand that communication is a practice and vital to setting a relationship up for success.