How Not to Murder Your Husband

Stephanie Calman

09 October 2014
256 pages


The idea for this book came when Stephanie began making a list of things that annoy her about her husband, and found how hard it was, once she had started, to stop. Here are the first Ten Things, just to give you an idea. He:

(1) Leaves the bread unwrapped after making toast so it goes stale.

(2) Writes illegible names and addresses on things like Christmas cards then tells her off when she try to amend them.

(3) Breathes really loudly when he's asleep - 'I wasn't SNORING' - so that it's like being woken every night at 2am by Darth Vader. And not in a sexy, black cloak, galaxy ruling sort of way.

(4) Says, 'I'm putting you in charge of that' as if he's doing her a favour when he wants to get out of doing something.

(5) Says, 'Well, let's not make a problem out of it, shall we?' before ignoring the thing she's just told him about that's really bugging her and that she wants him to fix.

(6) Doesn't fix things the minute she asks him to.

(7) Manages to get the children to bed with far less yelling than she does.

(8) Always sees the other side in an argument, i.e., the side that isn't hers.

(10) Adores her mother.

Viciously funny, touchingly honest and only too true, this is Stephanie Calman at her brilliant best.