Mark Kermode's top five hatchet jobs

We all have films that we love to hate and that we love to rant about. There are few that rant more concisely and cuttingly than trusted Observer film critic Mark Kermode. Here are five of his best one-liners.

28/05/2014
1 minutes to read


We all have films that we love to hate and that we love to rant about. There are few that rant more concisely and cuttingly than trustedObserverfilm critic Mark Kermode. Here are five of his best one-liners.

1. “Eat, Pray, Love, Vomit”
On Eat, Pray, Love

2. “Forest Gump with A-Levels”
On The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

3. “Less fun than having a real dog put down”
On Marley & Me

4. “The cinematic equivalent of tertiary syphilis”
On The Santa Clause 3

5. "Consumerist pornography"
On Sex and the City 2

Hatchet Job

by Mark Kermode

Book cover for 9781447230533

A hatchet job isn't just a bad review, it's a total trashing. Mark Kermode is famous for them - Pirates of the CaribbeanSex and the City 2, the complete works of Michael Bay.

Beginning with his favourite hatchet job ever, Mark tells us about the best bad reviews in history, why you have to be willing to tell a director face-to-face their movie sucks, and about the time he apologized to Steven Spielberg for badmouthing his work.